Do you know how coincidental it is? It has been exactly 6 months since the ohana went to Sentosa. And it has been exactly 6 months since my grandma passed away.

I really hope that I'll get over it. But it is more painful for me coz Da Ge used my camera to take photos of Ah ma's wake and I had to upload them for him. They are in my laptop and I have access to them anytime and all the time.

I do not understand why Da Ge wanted to take photographs throughout Ah Ma's wake. Why does he wants memories of her death? Why does he want to remember our grief? Besides, all of them didn't want to remember. They were all laughing 2 weeks later in Xiao Yan jie's wedding. So in the end, it's just Ma's, Auntie Molly's and Er Jiu's grief.

I remember the last day so clearly. Auntie Molly wept. My mother couldn't speak a single word throughout the entire day. And my second uncle, who looks so tall and so macho usually, sobbed like a little baby. Of course there were the actors who cried their eyes out but my mom cried her heart out.

I have photos. Photos of Auntie Molly weeping besides Ah Ma's casket, photos of Er Jiu's sobbing quietly in a small corner, photos of my mother singing "kan wa er qiu" to Ah ma for the very last time.

Ah Ma is always smiling in her photo. But we were all crying in the other photos.

I told you, no one sees me cry. And no one is there when I cry.