I set out after school for some photo shooting again. This time, it's on the city of Singapore. As I walked back to City Hall MRT, I saw the recording of the show "Let's shoot", a Chinese talkshow that gives teens a chance to share their thoughts. Guess what I was doing? Standing there to observe the camera angles and the way they lighted the entire scene instead of looking out for some big shot. I'm turning into a freak!!!

I actually like watching this show whenever I could watch it. I cried when they discussed about the boy who jumped to his death after he broke up his with girlfriend. I cried because I felt the pain of his mother. We always think that our lives belong to ourselves only. But we fail to see that we would have no life if our parents hadn't given us life. What more! Our lives belong to God.

I think it was dumb of him to have done that. There is no take 2 in life. And it's not worth it to kill yourself over a person who doesn't love you anymore. It's not worth it when she gets a second chance while you have lost it all.

Felicia asked me a question some weeks ago. She asked it in Chinese so translated in English, it sounded like "What will you choose between love and bread?" I told her that I will choose bread and she told me that I am heartless.

I'm not heartless. It's just that I do not want my life to end up dysfunctional should he ever leave me. I don't want to be emotionally dependent on him. It's bad enough that I wait up every night for his call. So I'm not heartless. I just want to protect myself.

I want to ensure that I will never end up the same path as Paul had taken.