Have you ever felt this way before? You know everything and yet feel useless; You know nothing yet you are the happiest person and perhaps the most useful person.

Sometimes, I wish that I know so much more, so that I can be more useful to people. Jeremy runs around and he is wanted everywhere because he is useful. I sat in the auditorium during TC rehearsals and wished for something to do. Wished for something I could do and it never came. I wish I knew more so that I could do more. I hate slacking. What I hate more is the feeling of uselessness. Everyone was running around with something or more than one something to do and I stood there hoping for something to do. I felt darn useless.

I'm a total failure because I despise my own talents. I despise the gifts God has given me. So what if I can sing for Him? There will always be thousands other angels to sing for Him. So what if I can play the piano for Him? There will be always someone better out there who's more qualified to play for Him.

So I stood there at SPD today and I started to think. Perhaps one day, when I stand before God, I can tell Him that I've used my talents for Him but how am I to account for me despising of my OWN talents? How am I to account to God about the talents when I covet after others' talents? I'm like that servant in the Bible who went to bury his talent!

My answer came.

"Lord I give You my heart
I give You my soul
I LIVE FOR YOU ALONE
Every breath that I take
Every moment I'm awake
Lord have Your way in me"

The air's definitely fresher when you're out of the pit.