I need strength.

Couldn't stop crying. I hate the hospital so much. It took away my grandfather and now as my grandma lies there, feeling so weak, I just couldn't stop crying. And I couldn't stop praying for God's will to be done in this family. I really don't want to see the same dispute to happen again.

How silly it is to fight over religious and beliefs issues? How dumb it is to fight over what kind of wake to give to our deceased loved one?

I need to be strong for my mother. She is trying so hard to act normal but imagine how you feel when your own mother is lying helpless on the hospital bed. I gave my mom a hug just now and told her I love her. It felt real good.

I never forgot the feeling of losing a loved one. And I can never forget the tears and the wailing of my mother when we lost my grandfather. The woman whom I look up to wailing in my arms, exclaiming that she has lost her father, it's one sight which I will never forget. I need to be strong because I want to be there for her everytime.

March is coming... ... Yoo Seng's first death anniversary. I wonder how it feels like. Some things just don't go away.