There is a facade in everyone's life. And mine is my strength.

Perhaps it's not a bad thing to be weak because when I am weak, He is strong.

But people need to realise how human I am too. I need someone to hold me and to love me too. No, perhaps that is more of a desire than a need. I want someone to hold me and to love me.

On Friday, I went back to TTSH to visit my grandmother. When I reached there, she kept calling and calling "ma..ma". I thought she wanted something but I just couldn't understand her so I just stood there and cried as I held her hand. When I reached home, my mom told me that my grandmother was calling out for her own mother.

No matter how old you are, where you are or who you are, there will always be a yearning for the person who bore you and gave you life. Imagine an 80-year-old, lying helpless on the hospital bed but yet wanting her own mother.

I wonder if my mom will hear me from Heaven when I cry out to her from my deathbed.

My spirit felt alive today. I'm so glad I went to COP today. They might not have the lights that Jeremy are so proud of, or the soundboard that can connect to a thousand and one stuff but they have a spirit of worship. And a spirit of praise and prayer. Awesome! Which explains why I felt so happy in SPD. BECAUSE I AM ALIVE!!! The pastor said that Paul was right when he said "count it pure joy when trials and temptations come your way". In the army, only the elite soldiers are given harder and more difficult things to do. So if you ever have trouble and problem coming your way, count it pure joy because you are God's elite solder. *beams*

"Where the presence of the Lord is, THERE IS FREEDOM!!!!

I'm going to start playing on the 3rd week of Feb. ARGH!!! I'm actually super nervous!! I'm feeling that same feeling 4 years ago!! And ironically, this month marks my 4th anniversary in SPD choir. HAHA. Funny how things work out huh?